fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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