foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
