If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
