They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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