rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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