Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
