Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
