You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
