It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
