Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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