Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we're making bets on your personal life
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
