sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
