he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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