Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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