About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
