just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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