We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
