dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize