I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
