but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We have started to decorate penises.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
