she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
