Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
