I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
