her vagine was all disorganized.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just got carded by a ten year old.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
