I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
