Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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