I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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