i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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