New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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