I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
