I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
