I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
