I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
