Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
