just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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