5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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