in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
