i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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