would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
