Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
