Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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