We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
