i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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