So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
