you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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