I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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