he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
