Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
