I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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