I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
